A sneak peek at the third and final book in the C’mon Funk Series, currently under development.
Please let me know if it intrigues you enough to want to know more.
Hiding Behind Nice
They Can Throw Her Out, But They Can’t Shut Her Up—Banned From City Hall!
QUOTE
Whenever there is oppression, there is resistance. This resistance is constant and takes various forms, even if you can’t see it with a naked eye. When people are oppressed, they will constantly struggle for their liberation…The job of the enemy is to confuse you into thinking that your people are doing nothing, so you too will do nothing…”
—Kwame Ture
PROLOGUE
Funkhouser Wins Mayor’s Race
NPR
Published March 28, 2007
Kansas City, MO – Former city auditor Mark Funkhouser scored a close win over mayor Pro Tem Alvin Brooks. A little more than one thousand votes separated the two candidates in the final count.
KCUR’s Maria Carter has more.
Music blared as hundreds of Funkhouser supporters gathered in Westport to watch election results roll in. Mark Funkhouser’s camp held on to an early lead, helped by strong results from north of the river. The former city auditor led a grassroots campaign, managed by his wife Gloria and run out of a doublewide trailer. Funkhouser says the city responded to his frankness.
Funkhouser: “We had faith that if you talked straight to the voters, they would believe you. We had faith that if you were authentic, that if you tried transparency for a change that my God you could win.”
Tax breaks to spur billions of dollars in downtown development became one of the campaign’s main issues with Funkhouser claiming they were a bad deal for the city.
THE RIFF-RAFF TAKES OFFICE
Ring, ring, went the house phone.
It was 8 o’clock on a Thursday morning. I had just gotten my children off to school and plopped my tired self down in my living room chair with a cup of coffee. I was still exhausted from the eight-month sprint it took to help my husband get elected mayor of Kansas City.
Ring, ring.
He, on the other hand, was sitting on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table, happily immersed in the latest edition of The Kansas City Star, and of course, he wasn’t moving a muscle to answer the phone.
“My God Funk, are the phones ever going to stop ringing?” I asked.
“It’s only been two days since I was elected, things will slow down,” my husband replied without looking up from his newspaper.
“Yeah, that’s what you said during the campaign, and the phones never once stopped ringing. In fact, the longer the campaign went on, the more they rang.”
“Glor, you probably should answer the phone.”
“Hello, this is Gloria, how may I help you.”
“Hi Gloria. This is Millie Crossland from the City Clerk’s office. First, please let me say congratulations on your husband’s election win!”
“Oh hi Millie! Thank you so much for the well wishes. Funk is right here, let me get him for you.”
“No, I’m not calling to speak with the mayor-elect. I need to go over a few things with you.”
“Me? Okay, sure, what can I do for you?”
“The mayor-elect takes office on May 4th and his Inaugural Address is at City Hall that same day. Given this, when would you like to hold the Inaugural Ball?”
“I didn’t know there was a ball. But if this is about a city event, shouldn’t I put Funk on the phone to answer your questions?”
“No, traditionally, the mayor-elect’s spouse plans the ball.”
“Really? That’s amazing. Each hour I’m learning more of what is required of me—it’s been such a surprise. I honestly didn’t know I was expected to have this much involvement in city affairs.”
“Yes, the spouse plays a major role! By way of the mayor, you represent the city as well. So, getting back to the ball. The city sets aside $30,000 for each incoming mayor’s …”
“Thirty thousand!” I bleated. “Funk will never go for taking 30k in taxpayer dollars for a party!”
“How does he expect to pay for it?”
“I’m so sorry Millie, but this is why I think you should be talking to Funk, not me.”
“No, like I said, the spouse plans the event. For now, can you please just email a list of your highest donors so I can send the invitations? There is a lot that goes into planning this event and we barely have 30 days to get everything done.”
“But wait a minute, Millie. Our highest donations came in AFTER Funk won the election, not before.” When I added that Funk would also want to invite the regular folks and the volunteers who supported his campaign, not just the elites, Millie’s tone changed from upbeat to blunt, “That’s not how it’s done.”
As cheerfully as I could muster, I said, “But I thought you said the spouse plans the event?” Since Millie’s demeanor had turned dry, I quickly added that I’d talk things over with Funk and promised to get back to her within 24 hours.
After which, I told Mr. Comfy and Cozy that he needed to set his newspaper down. It was time anyways. We were both late getting into the DoubleWide to continue wrapping things up as it related to the campaign headquarters. He groaned a bit, but complied. That said, his groaning was legitimate. We’d barely had more than a few minutes to ourselves ever since he won.
Funk filled me in on the players at city hall and how they were interrelated with the happenings there.
Millie used to be the outgoing mayor’s aide until the mayor got her promoted to be the City Clerk. Apparently, the City Clerk is a big-deal position, and the promotion essentially made Millie beholden to the whims of the mayor.
The problem was, Mayor Barnes hated Funk with every fiber of her being. In his role as the city auditor, Funk repeatedly raised a red flag to Barne’s “build it and they will come” mentality. Through a program called Tax Increment Financing (TIF), Barne’s had given the wealthy few hundreds of millions in taxpayer dollars to erect buildings the city had no business helping finance.
And just as I had anticipated, Funk balked about spending city funds on a ball and wouldn’t even consider holding the event if only the elite were allowed to attend. After more discussion, we arrived at the same conclusion. To avoid making waves, we decided to use the donations from the upper class that came in by the bucket-load after Funk won to fund the ball.
When I phoned Millie back and told her our plan, she said it was a great idea. I was relieved to be back in her good graces. But then came the hammer. Millie wanted to hold the event at Bartle Hall. Specifically, in the recently named Kay Barnes Grand Ballroom, which opened this year as part of a $150 million conference center expansion—and to showcase Mayor’s Barnes’s accomplishments, which according to my husband, was a spend-spend mentality that had brought the city to the brink of bankruptcy. I knew Funk would nix Millie’s latest ideas as well, so I just asked that she hold off on sending the invitations until I got back to her.
Then, on top of everything else on my gigantic to-do list, I went into inauguration-planning-mode.
CHAPTER TITLES
THE RIFF-RAFF TAKES OFFICE
SO NOW YOU WANT TO SUPPORT US?
GIMMEE, GIMMEE, GIMMEE
TITS TO THE WALL
MAN DOWN
BRING IT ON
MA’AM-IE
ENEMIES IN THE CAMP
BLOODY THURSDAY
DO YOU RECALL?
FAT, UGLY, UNKEMPT AND HER FEET
BANNED
C’MON PEOPLE, MOVE YOUR ASS
A REVOLUTION WITHOUT ANY REVOLUTIONARIES
THAT’S NOT NICE
EPILOGUE
The Photo. Early rendition of cover art for book three. I imagine her up on the tightrope, just like the previous two books. My cover artist, Ian Koviak will make her shine!