Just a quickie. (No, not that kind!)
I have Covid. For the 2nd time! WTH?!
But that’s not the main “thrust” of this post. That’s just the Universe doing what it does. It always has to provide the yin and the yang, and what kind of stupid system is that?
The more important thing is, the visit with my Italian exchange daughter and her husband Marco was beautiful.
Our home was once again full of life and laughter and talking into the evening. Funk and Marco hit it off great. We don’t own a TV, so they went to a bar to watch the Chiefs win a playoff game, which allowed Anna and I to have some “girl time.”
When Anna first learned about painful past events, it was like a balm to my heart that she cared enough to come across the ocean to see me.
She lived with us for a year when she was only 16 and has come home many times throughout the years. In between, we’ve stayed in touch via text.
Given that, I was surprised at how nervous I was about the visit.
I hadn’t physically seen Anna in 12 years, and in that time, she’s become a full-on adult. To me, it’s much easier to mother a young child than it is to mother an adult child. Additionally, I always put a lot of pressure on myself to make sure everyone in my home is comfortable and having a good time.
But an unexpected thing happened when she was here.
I didn’t realize how much those past events had undermined my worth as a mother, and really, as a person. And blessedly, Anna’s visit restored my confidence, something I hadn’t expected, and did not realize I needed.
I’ve been working hard to find joy again, and now, because of Anna, I think I’ll be able to achieve that more quickly. I’ll never stop being confused or free of heartache, but I know that I’ll eventually be happy again, despite everything.
For those of you who are also suffering loss, please remember that there are billions of people in this world who will see your love as a prize to them. I know it’s difficult, but search for those people.
For me, another one of those people is Pipo, my exchange son from Austria. And of course, my childhood friends of 50 years. But I need a wider circle, so I’m continuing to look for like-minded people to add to my community.
The Photo: Me and my gorgeous Anna, at the home in the country that I am helping a friend caretake. Don’t look at my big butt! It’s finally beginning to melt away; you can look once it’s back to normal.