My beloved Doctor Brooks did not make it.
He crossed to the other side on Friday, 21 March, 2025, at the too-young-age of 64.
I am so sad.
Devastated, really. And if I feel this way, I cannot imagine what his family is going through. His illness was so brief, I doubt he had time to read the attached letter I sent to him.
I rarely call anyone “Doctor,” especially if they address me by my first name. But Dr. Brooks has my respect. He is not only my incredible doctor, he is also my very good friend. I cannot imagine life without him. He is one of the few people in this world who is able to make me feel safe, loved, and protected.
I was a basket case in the weeks leading up to his death.
Terribly anxious, for no discernable reason. My gut was in an uproar, so much, that had Doug been in his office, I would have phoned him for advice and reassurance that I was okay. Looking back, I likely sensed what was coming, I just didn’t want to believe it.
The loss feels almost the same as the loss of a sibling.
Just horrendous. I feel untethered. The good news is, I feel him around me, loving me, still treating me from the other side. And I believe he is at peace, which is what I want for him most in the world.
I penned the following letter to him during his illness, hoping to let him know how much I loved him, to make him laugh, and even more important, to impart hope that he would return to vibrant good health soon. I felt certain he would. I don’t know how I could have been so wrong. I am rarely this wrong.
Here is that letter, which I doubt he was well enough to read.
The Things I Love About Doctor Douglas Brooks.
- Back in 1991, you were the only western medical doctor who I felt comfortable sending my birth clients to
- You were the only one who was remotely in step with how I viewed labor and delivery
- Still, my 30-year-old-punk-ass-self sent you many cocky letters, listing everything you did “wrong” during our mutual client’s labor
- I addressed those letters to “Douglass,” and you never once corrected the misspelling of your name
- You continued taking my clients, even when you knew they were referred to you by a crazy lady
- You took my family into your practice in 2007, when my husband was mayor of Kansas City
- That was one of the worst times of our lives—us being falsely spotlighted in the media several times daily
- That you even took us in after I was so dreadful to you, says everything about your character
- Accepting us into your practice meant everything to me, considering how exposed and vulnerable I already felt
- It wasn’t so far-fetched that I was worried about seeing a provider, considering the Christmas Newsletter that I sent only to close friends and family unintentionally landed the two of us in Harper’s Magazine
- With you, though, I never worried that my private parts would appear in the newspaper
- You cured my family of Lyme Disease
- Once, after I bounced off your exam table, you laughed when I said that you had to give me a hug, considering that you just had your finger up my butt, and then you gave me a hug
- I have never once felt judged by you, even when I tell you things that aren’t medically related, which is often
- I always feel better after speaking with you
- Many times you greet me by saying “Hello, this is Doug Brooks,” not Dr. Brooks
- And you “allow” me to call you Doug
- You don’t think I’m weird because I sense spirits
- You’ve even shared some of your own spiritual happenings with me
- You are a Christian, and yet you’ve never once imposed your beliefs on me
- You respect the way I approach Spirit
- You are the epitome of a Christian, in all the very best ways
- You believed me when I said that one of my loved ones was spiraling out of control
- And you risked helping me, help them
- For years now, you’ve listened to my heartache and confusion regarding that family member’s actions
- And you’ve been helping me recover from the emotional, physical and spiritual repercussions of those actions ever since
- You’ve helped me understand how that situation could have transpired
- You have always boosted my confidence that I would fully regain my vibrancy, even after all these years of battle-weary-stress
- You raised a beautiful daughter who has also shown me compassion during this terrible time
- You’ve been a partner in MY healthcare
- Whenever we meet, you give me all the time in the world to discuss what I need to discuss
- You are so confident in yourself and in your abilities that you’ve never felt threatened having this type of relationship with me
- For a western-trained doctor, this is unheard of
- You are unconventional in your approach to your “patients,” in the most welcoming ways
- Since you know how much I don’t like taking medications, anytime I’ve asked for a certain prescription, you’ve sent it in for me, or recommended something even better
- The trust you have in me to know what my body needs without interrogating me, still takes my breath away whenever I think about it
- You are the greatest diagnostician in the world
- The last time I was in Hawaii trying to recover my mental wellbeing, I went to two different physicians for an ailment, and twice I was misdiagnosed
- I sent you an email in the middle of the night your time, and you called me out of the blue the next morning, Hawaii time
- You laughed at my paranoia from having no idea who was calling and acting so familiar with me
- You correctly diagnosed me over the phone
- I was alone in a remote place, thousands of miles away from the mainland, and you tamped down my worries, as always
- When you learned I had Covid for the second time, you immediately called me
- While we were speaking, you sent prescriptions into the pharmacy that was soon to close
- When I asked if I should go to the hospital, you told me the hospital had nothing for me, that they’d only make things worse
- I am terribly afraid of hospitals (and of doctors) for that very reason, so I was grateful not to be confused about what to do for myself
- I was so sick and afraid, and Funk was out of town, so you gave me your personal cell number and told me to call, even if I was just afraid, even if it was in the middle of the night
- Knowing I had that option comforted me enough that I didn’t need to disturb your sleep
- That you gave me your cell number still brings tears to my eyes whenever I think about it, which is more often than you can imagine
- The Covid medications you prescribed were like miracle drugs
- Within six hours of taking them, I could breathe again, and was no longer afraid
- You have never once gotten upset when I speak of my disdain for western medicine
- In fact, you oftentimes echo my beliefs
- You listened in horror when two of my siblings died of a hospital acquired infection
- You helped me cope with the injustice of those deaths, and also with my loss
- Recently, when I asked how I could find a physician like you closer to where I live—for the times that I might need to be seen in person—you said, “I’m not going anywhere”
- When I responded, “Okay, then I’ll just call you in the middle of the night whenever I need you,” you said, “That would be okay”
- I have never heard of another doctor doing this. Ever
- Still, you gave me instructions on how to find a doctor like yourself
- You’ve never made fun of me when I’ve been afraid that my ailments were something “bad”
- Instead, you’ve always put my mind at ease that nothing was terribly wrong
- This is extraordinary, considering most doctors go to worst-case-scenarios first, which is my main complaint with them
- You allow me into your life
- Telling me about your family
- Your trips
- Your own similar situations in life and health
- You’ve always made me feel like I was your most favorite patient
- I’m certain the majority of your patients feel this way
- What other doctor does this?
- You have no idea how comforting that is
- I love your laugh. Hearing it gives me a thrill and makes me happy to be alive
- You have told me you love me
- And you said it first
- And I truly love you
- So much, that I cannot imagine my life without you
- When I think about the totality of you, I choke up, because your love is so rare
- Rarer than the love of many people in my “real” family
- When I ruminate on how fine of a doctor you are, I am beyond grateful that you are not only my doctor, but also my very good friend
This list contains only the things that I can think of off the top of my head. There is so much more, but I’ll leave it at this for now.
I adore you and I am praying for your speedy return back to vibrant good health.
You have taken such good care of so many people and for such a long time—likely, you ran on empty most days. Now it is your turn to take good care of yourself. Please take your time recovering. You deserve that and more. We who love you, will make do with your staff until you are fully recovered.
Last, I know you will return to vibrant good health. And that is not a wish, it’s a knowing.
Here’s to you! if you’ve been blessed with a doctor who treats the body, mind, spirit and emotion. Who is your partner in healthcare, and is also your friend. I will be searching for a new provider to fill this immense professional and personal loss, and I am dubious that I will find someone who comes close to what Doug Brooks provided. Still, I will not give up until I find the new-perfect-match for me. If we all shopped for providers this way, I think we would change the way healthcare is practiced in America.
The Photos: Doctor Brooks with his first child, likely 30+ years ago. I love this photo because it captures the love that is always emanating from his eyes. Such a rare love, that. The second photo is him in more recent times. That face is a face I love deeply. Dr. Brooks is at the top of the list of the people I love most in the world.
P.S. If you’re of a mind, please pray for his peaceful crossing to the other side and to help his loved ones cope with their loss—most especially, his family, for I cannot fathom their pain.