Even the Apple Health App has an attitude now?!

I’ve been working hard for more than a year to get my walking back up to my normal 4 miles daily, a practice I had held since 2009.

Early in 2023, I was so depleted that I was barely able to go a mile, and the Apple App let me know it. But it was true, so I accepted it.

However, for the past 6 months, I’ve been able to increase my mileage to 3+ miles a day. No one was more surprised that I was capable of that than me. Given my improvement, you’d think my App would’ve given me a big Hooray!, but no, their negative talk has gotten worse.

Last month.

Apple App, “On Average, you’ve walked less this year than you did the year before.”
Me, sigh, “Yes, I know.”

This week.

Apple App, “This month’s average walking is less than last month.”
Me, “But the month has barely begun, and it started with a holiday.”

Three days ago.

Apple App, “You walked 1,100 less steps yesterday than you did the day before.”
Me, “But I walked 6,000 steps MORE steps this week than I did the week BEFORE. Why are you changing things up and counting days instead of weeks now?”


Apple App, “You’ve walked a typical number of steps today, 9,436.”
Me, “Hey! You also said my average step was 8,846. That’s 590 MORE steps than my ‘typical’!”

Just now.

Apple App, “Your walking speed is slower today than it was January 3.”
Me, “Go screw yourself.”

Here’s to you! If you don’t let mean people get you down, even the makers of your phone App! I mean really, my iPhone is talking shit when I’ve made such great progress?! As Funk always says whenever I encounter someone being stupid, “Don’t let ‘em get you down Gloria, they’re just little assholes.” I hope you disregard those types too, whatever form they take.

The Photo. Me (and Funk), two years ago, before the added 50 pounds. Soon, I’ll be strutting myself through life like that again.