Sometimes, there’s too much to be afraid of to be afraid.
I stayed back in Hawaii to have another go at editing my manuscript, so that my book can make its debut as polished as I want it to be.
Which means, I’m alone. In a remote part of the island. That’s already out in the middle of nowhere.
The other night I was awakened at 1am to my hair blowing so furiously on my pillow that it felt as if I were standing outside in the major storm that was taking place. A storm of such proportions, that the locals say they’d never experienced one like it before.
A storm so great that it brought the guy pictured below inside the house seeking protection. Or, at least that’s what I surmised.
Before I became aware of his presence, I got up and started closing windows and doors.
But he wasn’t the first thing I came upon.
The first was an 8″ long snake-like thing writhing on the bedroom floor. I don’t like to kill anything. And since I knew there aren’t snakes in Hawaii, I didn’t freak so much. I just went about closing more doors and windows.
Which is when I ran into a centipede that looks and acts and stings like a scorpion, and my freak level went up a notch.
But I kept about my business. Once I’d gotten everything battened down I started for my bedroom.
That’s when I ran into the real scorpion. My prayer is that he’s already involved in his next lifetime.
I wish so much that I were brave. But you know what they say, wish in one hand and sh*t in the other, and guess what you’ll be holding.
The truth is, I’m uneasy being here. Almost like I’ve been placed on a forced vision quest, though I’m certain if I ever experienced a real one, this experience would seem like a simple tea party.
Still, I feel like I’m being tested. My time here has been filled with tedious work, a deep longing for my sister, sadness over the subsequent disintegration of the family I grew up with, and now, fear that things will crawl on me while I sleep.
I’m sure all this will make for a funny chapter in a later book. For the time being, all I can do is endure. Guard my heart. And with another storm brewing tonight, wrap myself up in my duvet, my killer broom within arm’s reach.
Please remember, my posts aren’t meant to solicit pity. There’s no boo-hooing going on here. Well, maybe a little. For the purpose of this post though, I’m just trying to find the humor in the dark side of life, because that’s the only way I know to get through.
Wishing that you, too, get tired of being afraid, and just go for it!