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This, from a call with my 93-year old New York, Italian mother just now.

“Mom, did you get the text I sent?”

“No, what did you send?”

“The new cover for my book. Funk loves it, he says it’s going to make him a millionaire.”

“If he’s a millionaire because of you, will I be a millionaire too?”

“Of course mom, whatever I have is yours.”

“That’s nice.”

“So, mom, what are you going to do with your million dollars?”

“I don’t know. Probably the day you give it to me is the day I’ll die.”

That last sentence is where the New York Italian comes in. The part where they tend to look at the world through sh*t-colored glasses. Of course, with her losing two children unexpectedly these past few years, she has a legitimate reason to be negative now.

Still, I’ve fought against that trait my entire life. But having lost the same relatives as my mother, I now know that these are the conversations I’ll likely miss the most.

So instead of straining myself by rolling my eyes, I thought to myself, “Hey, that’ll make a funny Facebook post.”

And there you have it. You were on the call with my mother today. I hope it was as good for you as it was for me!

The photo: Me and my cosmic child Nicolas, on my Sweet Sixtieth Birthday last summer.

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